Okay so Fii and Abena have been friends for close to their entire lives. Two years ago, Fii made a smart move to ask Abena to date him. Smart because Abena is the kind of girl who can stop a heated Chelsea – Man City argument just by passing by. Abena is simply endowed in the right places. And God added a sweet voice with a rather shocking thirst for Bible study. Just a stare from her can make you feel sinful remembering all the sins you committed. Like an angel on an assignment. Who wouldn’t want her?
So Fii was smart. For where? Apuu He was no serious dude until one gangster from one ghetto in US, spending holidays in the neighbourhood started making eyes at her. You know boys. They never get serious. They never give serious attention especially when they know the deal is seal until some killer with wild accent and some dollars to spend shows up. Then they become suddenly romantic.
Fii was scared into action. Of course Abena loves Fii for reasons only God can explain. So Abena said yes. Fii was the envy of town. Charlie. Even the chicks (ladies) in the hood gave Abena the Most Beautiful Queen Crown. She was a real queen chosen by a far more satisfied bench of judges and selfless voters than TV3’s Ghana’s Most Beautiful scorers.
Abena straightened Fii one time. Charlie, the guy stopped playing football on early Saturday mornings. He could not even open his eyes let alone get up from bed. Abena dragged him to all-night services every Friday at Tema. Fii became a prayer warrior. He learnt how to play “konka.” Soon Fii was on the guitar.
We lost Fii. But if to Abena, it was no lost. If it were me, boy, my shadow will even be scarce. So we all knew marriage was inevitable. Always waited for the day Fii will bring the wedding invite cards. And ask boys to at least manage protocol team.
So I was shocked when Abena started asking us about Fii’s whereabouts. We covered for him. It was becoming too much. So one day we dragged him to our own area supreme court. Charlie, it turned out Fii had found some halfco babe (half breed girl with German father and Ghanaian mother) called Lily. “So what’s up with Abena?” was the first question from TT. “Aaaah we dey! She has been behaving funny lately. I think maybe we are not meant to be” was his response with a smirk on his face.
He thought they rushed things. He thought Lily opened his eyes to real love. May be God brought Abena His way to straightened him for the Lily. “Okay so end it with Abena.” Akwasi followed up. “No! Let me double sure first.”
That was when Bis got annoyed. “Masa, which one too be this? Greedy boy. Why do you want to keep both girls? Why not put them in a ring and take the winner. So boys can try their luck on the loser.” Both girls were pretty. Fii won’t budge.
We all knew Abena was the one. The player on the field. The one everyone knew. The one who did the hard work. Lily was somehow the substitute. Fresh legs with a wild side but no less pretty. Fii was the coach; deciding the playing minutes for both girls.
Eventually Fii left Abena. All was set for Lily to enter the field. But Lily had her own plans. Fii wasn’t on it. Funny! She was long gone two weeks after Fii proposed to her which she accepted. She chose her dad and G333rmani (Germany) pastures over Fii and the green grass in front of his house. Akoa aso ay3 shi dread (He is in hot waters).
Still we are on it. 24/7 campaigning with all the resources we have. Our message is simple. “Take him back.” Our candidate is Fii. We need only one vote to win. Abena’s thumb. We are using both social and spiritual media. Different campaign messages. With one promise, “It won’t happen again.” Boys abr3. Girl no bu efu roff (Angry). We are hoping we win.
If we lose we deserve it. So do you if you ever keep a substitute. Football is different from relationship. Substitution is part of Football. I don’t know who even made it three. It should be five. When a player get injured. When a player seems lost in the game. When a player errr dey bore the coach(for real…lol). When tactics need to change. Substitution becomes imperative in a game where every second counts. It keeps the game alive. It brings hopes. It wins games. Sometimes players asked to be substituted. Sometimes they get annoyed when taken off. But who cares? Coach decides.
1999 Champions League final between Manchester United and Bayern Munich comes to mind. Played on 26th May at Camp Nou; the home turf of my favourite team Barcelona, it was arguably the next big game after France ‘98 final. Sir Alex Ferguson’s timely injection of Ole gunnar Solskjear in the game on the 81st minute mark made a difference. He scored the winner. Writing this, I can see the tears on Sammy Kuffour’s face as if it was yesterday.
It becomes a problem when the idea of substitution pops up in relationship. Having a guy and keeping one behind in case it doesn’t work with the first. Rolling with one girl and holding the brakes on another if something bad happens. This is evil. Very evil. Worst is lying to that substitute you would soon kick the main player off the field. But you know you won’t. And you too you agree and hope. Oh no no no no.
Relationship isn’t a 90 minute adventure. You have all the time to fix a problem. You don’t bring another person in because the main player got hurt. You don’t bring another in when you are angered by an act or word. You don’t bring one in while you try to fix the other. You aren’t inspired to solve any impending issue with the main player once you have a substitute.
Else your actions are torn into two. Your attention is divided. Your love is divided. Your service is divided. You can’t serve two masters at the same time. Jesus mentioned it. “No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will be loyal to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon.” (Matt 6:24 NKJV) It doesn’t work in spiritual quarters alone. It works in relationships.
So you are waiting for something to happen to end it quick for the substitute to come in. You are actually trying to orchestra a break up but smartly in a way that, it doesn’t come from you. She will be fed up and call it quit. He will eventually leave. So the blame falls on them not you. Such evil intent. Turn tables and imagine been treated like that! Call it off if you have to. Don’t make them do it and blame them. Not cool at all.
There is thin line between a good friend and a potential substitute. We both know it. Don’t lie to yourself. Let the substitute go. God doesn’t double cast. Each cast has a unique role. Why do you double cast? Why keep a substitute? Let them go!! Go work on your main player. If you are substitute, run away. Go find your own turf. Go find a field you can play eternity with no pressure. Relationship isn’t a soccer team. Keep no substitutes. Don’t be a substitute. Be Inspired.
Kwabena Eddie Mankata (c) 2015