The lazy sky hung over our heads. And the grass was obviously going nowhere beneath us. It stayed and brushed against our feet as we strolled in the park. It was a Sunday evening and we decided to clear our hearts and minds of all issues to make way for the pressure on Monday.
“I think I have wasted my life and I really can’t place my hand on anything tangible I have achieved or any investment I can boast of after school,”came her frustration. I wanted to cut in and declare “I am a witness,” but clearly there were a lot to be said, so I listened and on and on and on she went lamenting about her life full of poors! Poor decisions! Poor relationships! Poor Jobs! Poor prayer life! Poor this and that.
It only hits me when she started comparing herself to me and making a tall list of what she thought were great achievements in my life. I wanted to cut in again but I stopped and listened. I didn’t argue with her. I rather found it revealing no in fact healing that she thought I had done something great with my life.
By the time she was done, I had compiled her own list of great feats and lavished on her. Not to do the reciprocal you-have-done-good-too kind of talk but to make her realise that the fact that you haven’t achieved the big things on your list doesn’t mean you haven’t done something good. It doesn’t mean you haven’t influenced anyone. It doesn’t mean you are no good. It doesn’t mean you have wasted your life.
It is pretty easy to look around and rate yourself below standards in terms of achievement. Hell, sometimes you want to hide when you see your mates or younger colleagues at a certain height in society. Society has a definition for success and achievements with components being cars, apartments, investments, high profile jobs, status and others. You name them. Even when you have them, there is always a way to make you feel you are lacking hence you are unsatisfied or worse, feel wasteful.
Truth be told, you may have judged wrong and taken some bad decisions. You are not where you wished to be (show me someone who really is) and so you don’t feel good about yourself.
Well this is the truth whether you believe it or not, “breathe, you have done something!”
Really? Yeah you have! We cannot measure all the good you have done because the records are in heaven. How many times have you lent a listening ear to someone? How many times have you shared your thoughts on an issue? How many times has someone leaned and cried on your shoulder? How many times have you even escorted someone? How many times have you spoken on behalf of someone? How many times have you given as little as twenty pesewas to someone even playfully to buy sachet water? How many times have you said a prayer for someone? How many times have sat by a sick friend’s bed? How many times have sent someone a lovely message? How many times have you bought something (I don’t mean a car, laptop or a house, but phone recharge credit, a season card, food etc.) for someone?
These small looking irrelevant daily actions carry the highest points in the books of heaven. Even on earth you have no idea how well they inspired lives. The jobs and positions we hold have an eventual purpose of making someone’s life better. So you have done something and still doing something.
Scott Adams writes, “You don’t have to be a person of influence to be influential. In fact the most influential people in my life are probably not even aware of the thing they’ve taught me.”
We daily affect lives without knowing.There are a lot of things to be thankful for. It had to be God (get a copy of my book) for us to get here. We ought to learn how to be content.
So you don’t have that dream car or mansion or no investment yet but in reality you have been good in one way or another. Don’t beat yourself. Don’t wallow in self-pity. It is wasteful mental energy and hasn’t gotten anything done ever since.
In fact, let’s take this higher. Why worry and fret over what you don’t have or haven’t done? Why pay attention to what the devil is telling you directly or indirectly through people? We are not where we want to be but thank God we are not where we used to be. We will surely get there by grace and doing our part. While on the way, hold your head high, be good and do good and smile.
Now be content, focus and work out the big plans but don’t stop doing small stuffs alongside. They have the tendency to change lives and destinies. Ironically they mean a lot more to heaven. They can even lead to achieving the big plans. So I am telling you the same thing I told my friend, “Breathe, you have done something and you can do more.”
Kwabena E. Mankata (C) 2014 All Rights Reserved