I have been there and I have seen it from afar and near when a guy and a lady become very good friends. When they enjoy each others company chatting about necessary and unnecessary issues for long hours. When they are unafraid to be themselves and can see through each other perhaps even predict correctly what the other would say or do or react in their absence. When they pray and genuinely care for each other. When they tend to bring out the best in each other! When they are the first to hear good and bad news each has. When they are both assured that in the midst of trying moments even when one guilty, the other will be there to stand for and by. Yet in there lies a feeling they never talk about; at least for a while.
People then begin to suggest to them to observe each other well. They say to the lady, “Don’t you see how this guy looks at you? He seems so much alive and determined to chart different courses to prove himself to you. He will do anything for you.” Then they tell the guy, “This lady is perfect for you in simple terms. She feels nothing short of comfort around you.” All of a sudden the guy and lady begin to notice stuffs and start marking the checklists people have listed for them. Yet still in there lies a feeling they never talked about; at least for a while.
Then one day the guy makes a new lady friend and starts sharing ideas, plans; basically begin to reduce by smaller increasing margins, the time spent with the previous lady friend for this new one. Or it could be the lady who gets another guy friend and then suddenly jealousy begins to outline the feelings. “It’s okay” is the response when being asked how they feel about the new friend but beneath that okay is a mixed feeling of jealousy, rage and fear underlain with an undeniable love. Yet in there lies a feeling they never talk about; at least for a while.
Sure, it’s the guy’s duty perhaps right to make a move or say something. The lady can only aid with signs or emotional languages for lack of better explanation or maybe some choice of words. If he can’t listen, he should at least see that the emotional display is no longer on the friendship level. After all these proved futile and the expectations aren’t met, disappointments and doubts set in. Yet again in there lies a feeling they never talk about; at least for a while.
And then one day, another gentleman whisks the lady away or a sister get the proposal from the guy either by a higher step of faith or intensified sign language. Broken heart rears its head. And for some strange reason, now the one left alone starts talking about the feeling they never talked about because the while is up.
Now the while is up and they begin to talk about the feelings they never talk about. To their amazement the feeling is mutual, the passion is still burning and desire is unchanged but one of them is now caught up in the arms of another regrettably to other’s emotional detriment. Then the usual “you should have said something, but you didn’t say anything, how was I suppose to know that this and this could lead to this, now what do I do? What do I tell him, what do I say her?” pop up. The truth? It is too late
Strange? No! So true and it’s still happening. What could the reason be until this while? Could they be genuine or absurd? Who decides? Well, I have been there before and for certain it’s a feeling you wouldn’t want to experience twice. Be bold young man! Young woman do this. Talk about the feeling in there before it gets to that while.
Kwabena Eddie Mankata © 2014